The Shu Qi movie we all needed.
A father who has a stupid son and a daughter who wants to get smarter finds a beautiful woman for his son, and they get married. But shortly after, the father’s concubines die one after the other, and he falls in love with his son’s beautiful wife. Oh Shu Qi, you are a dangerous woman! The daughter in the family tries to find out what’s going on with the help of Officer Iron Man. Yes, he’s the original Iron Man! The Chinese didn’t steal him. They are not thieves! Are you a racist or what?
This is another rewatch, and I didn’t like the movie the first time I watched it. So did a rewatch make this movie better? I gave it a 1 out of 10 in my first review, so the chance of giving it a higher score is much greater than it is going lower. I’m feeling clever today!
But again, I was disappointed with this movie. The problem is that the movie is too dark, with a demon who kills hot women, and the characters are boring and irritating. The freshness and sort of joy we found in the first movie aren’t here. Don’t kill hotties; that’s way too dark! Just let them do their stuff without wearing any clothes, and we, the real men, are satisfied. We’re simple that way.
Shu Qi is beautiful and the highlight of the movie. She says some crazy things, according to the subtitles. And even if I’m not a fan of her being a demon, the scenes where she transforms into a man are funny. Especially the scene with the stupid scholar man, who I hope felt some pain in his dark tunnel.
I also love the long scene towards the end. It’s a boring scene, but it’s not boring when Shu Qi speaks. What comes out of her mouth are some crazy lines! That makes it entertaining! Oh, Shu Qi, you have such a dirty mouth and beautiful lips. How can such dirty words come out of your beautiful mouth? Oh, Shu Qi!
There’s also a half-funny scene when the students are having a sort of manly spitting contest. But they don’t spit if you catch my drift! Well, that scene is pretty funny because the protagonist’s friend isn’t much of a man. He needs to fill up his juice cup and use a compressor to pump that shit out!
The sex scenes are boring as hell. There’s nothing exciting to see here, except for the stupid and long scene towards the end with a talkative Shu Qi. She also dominates the bad man himself, Elvis Tsui, in a brief scene where Shu Qi shows us that she’s the boss—and what a nice boss she is! And we all love that, don’t we? Oh, Elvis Tsui, you’re a lucky man! Oh, Shu Qi! He is indeed a lucky man!
But the protagonist, the woman who wants to become a scholar, is boring. The actress is boring, and I can say the same thing about her love interest. He turns into Inspector Gadget after a horrible accident—slipping on a carrot and losing the manly part that makes him a real man! Poor, boring man! He isn’t a real man anymore! Bugs Bunny ate his carrot, you know.
The movie is also ugly to look at compared to the first movie. The camera angles are so strange in several scenes. It’s not a beautiful movie to watch, but we’ve got a young Shu Qi to watch. Oh, Shu Qi, you and your beautiful eyes and lips. Oh, Shu Qi!
Except for the beautiful Shu Qi—oh Shu Qi—I can’t find a reason for you to watch this boring movie. Watch the first movie instead, even though it has Amy Yip in it. She’s no, oh, Shu Qi!