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Naked Weapon (2002) – English Review

Young girls are kidnapped by an evil woman who trains them to become sexy assassins. But a CIA agent can destroy her organization because he falls in love with the most dangerous assassin. Will love set her free?

This is a silly and bad movie that is so bad that it entertains with all the nonsense it shows. How about a very unsexy dance by Maggie Q? She tries to perform a sexy dance with her one and dead facial expression, and when she takes off her panties, she has two yellow stains on her nightgown that I’m certain are urine stains! You don’t have to have perfect eyesight to see that! What a dirty woman! I would have demanded that she took a long shower before she climbed into bed with me. I can promise you that!

We get to see a comedic rape scene where the woman who kidnapped the sexy assassins sedates them and summons some men to rape them. They no longer own their bodies, says their cruel boss. When the men who rape the sexy assassins are done with their woman, they give each other a high five and they have a delightful time and continue to rape the sexy assassins. Seriously, what am I watching?

It oozes the early 2000s of Naked Weapon with the slightly ugly cinematography and the messy and confusing action scenes. Especially the fight scenes are so bad and silly that you sit and stare at all the ridiculous ideas they thought of here. I love the sequence where the sexy assassins jump on the couch and start with dance moves in the air. It looks like a ballet show! What the hell is this nonsense? This is fucking shit!

The story is rubbish. When they shot the movie, the script couldn’t contain many pages. The sexy assassins are sent out on some missions, but the people they are going to kill have zero personality. Who are they? What have they done wrong? The movie doesn’t build up the missions at all. The assassins just show up, kill, leave, and then they get a new mission.

The movie also serves us a terrible love story from the deepest hell. I like Daniel Wu, and you feel bad for the man when he opens his mouth and says so many silly things. And he must pretend to be in love with a woman without charisma, and who I think is clinically dead and who has large urine stains on her nightgown! What a woman he has found! And she can not dance either!

Maggie Q is a talentless actress. She only has one facial expression, and it seems like she took a Bruce Willis when he lost his soul. She has no charisma. She is a lousy actress, and she is not attractive. I don’t understand why she got a chance in the movie industry. And she walks around with a couple of urine stains on her nightgown! Woman, you disgust me!

This is a real garbage movie that I would say has great entertainment value. It’s disgustingly bad, but it caught my interest and I couldn’t take my eyes off the TV screen.

Rating: 5/10

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