This is the story of Denmark’s biggest robbery.
The Quiet Ones is based on a true story where a group of robbers robbed a cash processing facility in Denmark. The group consisted of people from different nations, and the protagonist in the movie is a Danish boxer who will never succeed in life. So, together with some violent criminals, they plan to rob a cash processing facility, and he is the man with the plan.
The Quiet Ones is not a good heist movie. This is a movie that fails to engage because what we see on the screen is way too stupid and unbelievable. There are so many classic stupid scenes in this stupid movie.
It’s hard to pick the best stupid scene, but I have to give the award to that stupid security guard woman who wants to be a cop. She locks the gate with herself standing inside it while the robbers come driving with their car, and she doesn’t carry any weapons. She just stands there, and you just have to laugh at the plot and the behavior of the characters in this stupid movie. And the best thing in this scene, besides that stupid woman, is the stupid protagonist who decides not to wear a mask when confronting her. What the hell is this? Are you kidding me!?
The opening scene is also fantastic, when the robbers are trying to get inside an armored vehicle, and the stupid new guy just has to open the door because he panics. And you know what happens when people panic? They get killed.
And then we have the mastermind who sits in his car outside the cash processing facility when the female security guard discovers him, walks up to him, and asks what he is doing. He’s in the middle of nowhere at night, so it’s pretty easy to spot him! It’s such a stupid scene—God, I hated these stupid characters from hell.
Oh, I almost forgot—that stupid, ran-out-of-budget car chase scene will forever be a classic. It feels so cheap and laughable. One of the robbers is pointing a gun at the head of the getaway driver, forcing him to drive faster in the rain, even though he can’t see a thing. Meanwhile, the cops are supposedly chasing them, but all we see are some flashing police lights in this so-called high-octane car chase. Jesus Christ, just stop it!
The Quiet Ones is absolutely one of the worst and stupidest heist movies ever made. I thought this was going to be an entertaining film, but it turned out to be a comedy crime movie with pacing issues, bad editing in several scenes, and just plain bad storytelling. The characters are underdeveloped and not interesting at all. There are too many characters and almost no character depth, so the movie has to get one thing right—and that is to create a lot of intensity before and especially during the robbery, build up the atmosphere, and deliver good, tight pacing with some tension and drama. But it never manages to do any of that. This was such a waste of time.