I love fresh milk, especially this type of milk. Oh yeah!
An old man is going senile and lives with his daughter-in-law on a farm. His son has died, and every morning, he goes out to the barn to start milking his cows—and the woman. Yes, you heard that right. He had a favorite cow, but it is long gone, and now the woman has taken its place. He’s an old, lucky man, but she’s not good for business because she’s dry! Give that man some fresh milk, woman!
A Lonely Cow Weeps at Dawn is a short movie with a runtime of around one hour. When I heard about the scene I just described in the plot synopsis, I knew I had to watch the movie. However, the milking scene is disappointing, especially if you’ve seen Visitor Q directed by Takashi Miike. The woman can’t even fill a glass with a single drop of fresh milk. At least she has a fine body, so that’s something for us, the simple men. But we Vikings also appreciate a glass of fresh milk from those fine melons!
So, is there any point in this movie? No, not really. We follow old men enjoying themselves with younger women, and there’s also a middle-aged man who wants the deed to the old man’s property. The old man’s daughter also makes an appearance, but she doesn’t contribute much. She takes out her frustration in bed, where she belongs with her peanut brain.
The daughter-in-law seems stuck and has formed a connection with the old man, who is going senile. She doesn’t seem to have any plans for the future, so she’s started to develop feelings for the old man.
We only get a brief glimpse of what happened to his precious cow and his dead son, who doesn’t seem like a good man in that scene. The son kidnaps the old man’s favorite cow intending to sell it, but as he drives off, he crashes, and both the cow and the son die. He just had to take the cow with him to hell!
There’s not much we learn about the characters in this movie, and maybe I’m trying to dig too deep after watching it. But it’s not a deep movie. It doesn’t go deep where it should go deep.
The erotic scenes are pretty boring, to be honest. There are a lot of them crammed into the one-hour runtime, but they’re no fun to watch except for the sexy milking scene that lacks fresh milk. They could have at least found a woman with real fresh milk! Is that too much to ask for as a Viking? I feel cheated!
I like crazy movies, but A Lonely Cow Weeps at Dawn left me disappointed because I didn’t get my fresh milk. The movie tries to convey something about the connection between the daughter-in-law and the old man, but do you care about these characters in a movie like this? No, of course not. All you care about is that fresh glass of milk, but where is my milk? The woman is such a tease!
The highlight of the movie is that the woman has a beautiful body. Oh yeah, so I give her three points just for that. But I have to deduct seven points because she doesn’t squirt out that fresh, hot milk that a Viking man needs.