Candyman has gone woke!
I love the first Candyman movie—the sequels are garbage. But I’ve watched the original so many times, and you can’t replace Tony Todd as Candyman. But that’s not the biggest issue with this pile of shit! And I’m not gonna waste time describing the plot. If you haven’t seen the original, go watch it. It’s a classic, and the story’s the same—some bogeyman coming to get you if you say his name five times.
Candyman (2021) is a direct sequel to the first movie, where we follow a talentless artist who has sniffed too much paint and calls for Candyman in the mirror. Oh no! Will the talentless bastard die? Well, I sure hope so!
The real problem with Candyman is that it was made in 2021, and it’s nothing but woke garbage. There’s way too much gay stuff shoved in here. The white characters are either crooks, or they’re gay, or they look gay. And for the most part, we’re in a black neighborhood focusing on black characters—since Jordan Peele co-wrote the script. Surprise!
The best scene? Early on, 20 white cops rush into a basement to kill the man they think is Candyman—and he’s, of course, black. That scene is gold! They smell a black man, and holy shit, they run like rabid bloodhounds, gunning him down. Brilliant writing and social commentary, right? Jordan Peele, was that you? Pretty racist, huh?
I’ve come to the conclusion that this “comedy” was written by a bunch of immature idiots and directed by a talentless hack who also wrote and directed The Marvels. You can’t be mentally sound in the head to make a movie like this. You gotta be a woke piece of shit and a talentless hack to ruin a character like Candyman and turn it into this joke that barely makes sense. The script is a disaster.
The characters? They’re clowns, and you couldn’t care less about them. The protagonist is a waste of time, and the movie feels dead with characters that have no chemistry. People show up, die, and you don’t give a damn because they’re empty shells. I can’t stress enough how terrible the script is!
Is the movie scary? No. Does it have atmosphere? Eh, a little, but only in a couple of scenes where you don’t see things and the sound effects kick in. Some of the kills? Ridiculous. Oh, and Candyman can turn into the Invisible Man? That gave me a headache.
This remake of Candyman is what you get when you hire special people with zero talent. They belong in the trash heap with other woke idiots who have no brains or talent. The best thing they could do for the sane people of the world is find a mirror and say Candyman five times. Please, do it!