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Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021) – English Review

An arrested man must find a woman for the man himself, Don Johnson. This leads him to a dangerous place where there live a lot of crazy people. Will he find the missing woman and make Don Johnson happy again?

Prisoners of the Ghostland is directed by Sion Sono. I have watched almost all of his movies, and I’m not a big fan. I mostly hate this idiot, but I’m a movie fan, so I watch most movies, especially if I have watched most of the movies a director has made. And don’t come and tell me I don’t understand this idiot of a director. I have watched several of his first movies that people don’t know exists! So shut your mouth, and know your role!

My problem with Sion Sono is that he has always been a Takashi Miike wannabe. He tries too hard to be cool. He wishes he can be like Takashi Miike when he was at his best. But Sion Sono is like the Japanese version of Rob Zombie. Those two have one thing in common. They create terrible and obnoxious characters from the deepest hell who behaves like children. And I hate children! And you get to see and experience that in Prisoners of the Ghostland.

There’s not much of a story in Prisoners of the Ghostland. This is a sort of trashy arty-farty, meets Mad Max, meets Sukiyaki Western Django, who Takashi Miike directed. And again, you can see that I’m right when I have always called Sion Sono a Takashi Miike wannabe.

Prisoners of the Ghostland have some visually great scenes. But when the movie doesn’t have a story to tell, and the characters are empty, the movie has to compensate for the lack of a story with an interesting plot. It has to offer an engaging journey. But this isn’t a movie that offers a lot of action scenes and crazy characters that you like.

This is a typical try-hard movie where you can see the really weak side of Sion Sono. The characters talk a lot of shit. You just want them all to die. It’s them or you! It’s so childish to listening and watching the actors trying their best to be weird. Sio Sono and his characters are so obnoxious!

The characters are annoying, and Sion Sono is a master at gathering some useless actors that will make you hate Japanese actors. The acting is atrocious. The only thing that impressed me is that Nicolas Cage looks pretty good considering his age and how much he works. But he looks like an idiot in Prisoners of the Ghostland. Bill Moseley plays Don Johnson. He’s like the worst Don Johnson ever!

The whole movie is a mess. It doesn’t have a story to tell. The characters will make you cry, and most of them are played by actors from hell. This is just pure trash. And I must also inform you I grew up with shitty exploitation movies when I was nine years old! So I know my shit!

Rating: 1/10

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