He will get the women, but will he lose his soul?
Highlight Reel: The creepy guy watches The Gigolo (2015).
A loser who needs money will do anything to get the money so he can take care of his mother who has health issues. So he becomes a gigolo! You heard him, he’s a gigolo! And he wears a lot of makeup!
But let’s start from the beginning when the gigolo was an ordinary student with a girlfriend who looks like she was thirty years old.
Did you know that the son of Jaws is Chinese and that he solves problems this way? Watch out, 007! He’s coming for YOU! He’s the gigolo’s best friend in some scenes, but the movie forgets about him, or the gigolo left some sticky goo on the ground, and Jaws was stuck in the sticky goo like a trapped fly.
At home, the gigolo and his old girlfriend try to party hard, but his gift doesn’t fit and in walks his mother. I’m sorry, but the scene is over since that’s a turnoff.
A hot and not-so-smart woman is trying to change her flat tire. Who will save her? The sticky and upcoming gigolo! Let’s hope she can drive away without getting stuck on the sticky goo that the gigolo leaves behind him.
The Gigolo is a baby born with some heavy equipment, and his first step to becoming a real gigolo is a big fail. He needs to change his boxer! Bolo Yeung’s son agrees. YUCK! It won’t be difficult to follow his sticky and dripping trails.
He tries to build his confidence and regained his manhood. He has his Lady and the Tramp moment, which is quite disturbing. But hey! Who am I to judge? The girlfriend sees what he’s doing, and she breaks up with him. That isn’t a big loss when he can party hard with this hottie. Oh yeah, eat it!
Watch out! A little old lady who can’t see much is hungry and wants a piece of fish. Well, old lady, that wasn’t an eel! You have now injured the gigolo! Wicked woman! But a hot woman comforts the injured gigolo. But then she calls for her friends, and it looks like the gigolo needs to take a break after they almost broke his stick. Look! He’s crying! But you can sense that he is becoming a confident man, but he needs a timeout for the moment!
But he’s not happy with his performance as a gigolo, so he needs a teacher. He finds a hairdresser who can help him and find the mysterious teacher, and I hope it’s a hot woman! Wait, are you serious? Is that the king of gigolos? What a downer!
The gigolo has a father, and he’s a bum. Do you hear me? He’s a bum! And the world will be better without him, so I called my guys to take care of him. What I didn’t expect was to see the worst scene in movie history when a father says goodbye to his gigolo son. Just die, you goofy old fart! DIE!
The father has died, and nobody cares. Then the gigolo is inspired by the Rocky movies, and he starts to train to become the best gigolo he can be. He trains his fingers and his tongue! Ivan Drago, you are a dead man, because the sticky man is coming for you! And he will tongue you so hard that you will throw in the white towel yourself! Piece of fish!
Look here, woman! I have now become a real gigolo, and I want you to come with me and party hard on the dance floor. You will not laugh at me and clean yourself on my shirt anymore. I’m a GIGOLO! He leaves behind another satisfied customer.
He wakes up a troll in the toilet who someone needs to flush down! For Christ’s sake! Someone flush her down the toilet! She doesn’t belong here! Send her to Australia to the freaks who live there! Send the other woman too! My f-ing EYES!
A creepy guy walks in, and it turns out that the woman who almost broke the gigolo’s stick is his wife. And he looks like a bad man! And yes, he is. He likes to have his men watching him on his wedding night.
But the gigolo plays with fire, and he will get burnt. But first, he needs to take a sexy shower with the woman who is married to the psycho. But what in God’s name is wrong with this woman? She can’t have enough men, even after the terrible wedding night? Is she a pervert?
At an audition, the gigolo meets the woman in his life. It’s the woman who got stuck in his goo when she tried to drive away, and she followed his sticky trails. She coming for the gigolo, and she’s a movie director!
I’m sorry, but my EYES! MY EYES! They are burning! Someone arrest that freaky man!
The gigolo and his new girlfriend are invited to a party, and who is that who’s trying to hit on the gigolo’s woman? It’s the gigolo’s old nemesis from school. The man who wasn’t nice to his best friend who’s written out of the movie. He slips some drugs into their drinks, and he’s trying to party hard with the gigolo’s girlfriend. But the gigolo uses his spider senses and saves the day. The gigolo has now become a smart man! And his reward is waiting.
The gigolo and his girlfriend are invited to a dinner party where he’s going to meet the girlfriend’s parents. But isn’t that, OH MY GOD! It’s the husband of the woman who injured him on the boat! Is this a kinky family, or is she going behind her husband’s back? Well, we know the answer to that. It also turns out that she is the hot stepmother to his girlfriend, so it’s all fine.
But after the gigolo brushes her off, she seeks revenge, and she gets hold of some videotapes of the gigolo partying hard at the nightclub. It’s all over the news. But she won’t succeed when the gigolo and his girlfriend hold a deep and touching press conference. The girlfriend forgives him. They are meant for each other. Nothing will break them apart! She’s his ho, and he’s her gigolo! And he has some hairy ears!
Don’t get drunk and pass out and watch dirty videos is the lesson here. The stupid woman falls asleep, and in walks her husband. He watches the dirty videos of her and the gigolo, and now the crazy pervert is angry!
The Gigolo is out walking with his girlfriend when some men kidnap the gigolo! Oh no, not the gigolo! Wait, now the creepy guy has the chance to hit on the hottie. Kill the gigolo, guys!
The gigolo will regret having fun with the stepmother, and the bad guy is planning to kill him. But first, he plays a game with his wife’s best friend, and she lost the game they played. Oh no! You could at least have taken off her designer shoes! The shoes! NOOOO!!! How much did they cost? Can we save the shoes? I don’t care about the woman, she was cheap, but her shoes were not! For God’s sake, can someone jump into the pool and save those SHOES?
A man who never can win a woman’s heart is trying to do something illegal, but a heal to the skull saves the day. And as we learn, a heel can also be useful to crack open an egg! So buy some women’s designer shoes today! You can buy this pair for just $999! Buy them, protect yourself against ugly people, and eat some fried eggs after saving yourself from giving birth to an ogre.
The Gigolo is tied up, and the husband wants to do something to his eggs, but the daughter comes rushing in and tries to save her precious gigolo. Suddenly his wife is in the room pointing a gun at him, and she gives him the gift that only a woman can give. A bullet in the head. He’s out of the game!
Catfight! The stepmom and the stepdaughter are fighting, and the stepmother has the upper hand and stabs her hot stepdaughter. But a bullet in the head saves the day. The gigolo picks up his ho and rushes to the hospital. Will she survive?
This looks promising, doesn’t it? YES! The gigolo can finally live in peace with his woman after she almost was killed. But with her brain, she barely noticed it. Rock on, rock hard!
The end.