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X (2022) – English Review

Ageing beauty.

A group is planning to shoot an adult movie, and they have made a deal with an old man who lives on a small farm that they are gonna rent a house and be nice on their vacation. But what he doesn’t know is that they are gonna shoot an adult movie. But what they don’t know is that the old man is married to a crazy, old woman who wants to be young and beautiful again.

I have watched almost all of the movies that Ti West has made. The only one I have missed is his western movie, In a Valley of Violence (2016), but I’m gonna watch it.

So this movie has at the start the usual Texas Chainsaw Massacre atmosphere where the group we follow is traveling to their destination in a van, and they stop at a gas station. And they pass an accident with a truck and a cow. So it’s the usual build-up we have seen so many times before.

So it turns out that the group is gonna shoot an adult movie, and the old man who have have rented them the house doesn’t know that. The group of people we follow are not likable characters, and they spend some time justifying what they are doing when they star in an adult movie. It will ruin your brain cells! The sex scenes are dull and not sexy. I’m watching this movie for the gore, and I want the characters to keep their mouths shut! 

And the girl with the freckles is not hot. If I bought or rented an adult movie with her in it, I would have demanded my money back! Even a blue pill wouldn’t have helped my equipment after watching her naked body. I would rather sleep with the old creepy lady than little miss freckles!

Since this is a Ti West movie, the movie is slow. He’s known for making slow burners, and the first kill happens around the 1-hour mark. The problem I had is that there’s no creativity to be found when people get killed. The gore is held back, except for the first person who’s killed. But other than that, I was so disappointed by the lack of creativity. It’s also hard to witness two old farts play around with the stupid young people. They can barely walk! And the climax is also weak.

I’m not sure why X has gotten so much praise. There’s nothing special about this movie. It’s slow, the characters are not likable, and the dialog will make your head hurt. The gore is lacking, and when the old couple kill their guests, there’s no creativity here. So what’s so special about X? What’s going on with horror people these days?

Rating: 5/10

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