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Dynasty Warriors (2021) – English Review

Three warriors who are blood brothers try to remove a powerful man they helped when he was about to lose the battle against his enemies. Now they must get help from other powerful warriors to get him removed from his position!

I’ve never played the games that this movie is based on. And after watching the movie, I hardly feel the need for it either, because the movie killed the little curiosity I had.

What I was most surprised about in this shitty movie is how talkative it is! There is very little action and tons of dialogue. I had to take three breaks while watching the movie because I was falling asleep from the unengaging and empty story. They talk and talk, but what they have to say is something we have heard better in other movies. And it doesn’t help with the shitty actors and their terrible and lifeless role interpretations.

The story has nothing new to offer where we follow a bunch of characters who have their own agenda. But first, they have to remove the person who steers the ship, and that is Johnnie To’s slave and lover, Lam Suet.

If the movie is going to spend so much time on dialogue, it should at least create interesting characters who don’t look like clowns. It should also have some actors with charisma! The gang they have gathered here made me cry, even though you will find some famous Hong Kong actors here. But it helps so little when several of the central characters are played by clowns who have zero charisma! They could have played some half-rotten zombies in The Walking Dead! What a fucking boring bunch of actors!

Louis Koo has a lot more charisma than any other actor in the movie. He can just stand there and stare hard into the camera without saying anything, and just doing that he overshadows the rest of the cast. And he smiles in this movie too! I haven’t seen Louis Koo use that much energy in many years! He smiles! You are the man, uncle Koo! You should know by now, that this is a shitty, shitty movie!

The action scenes are not good in this movie. There is too much fast cutting, and the computer effects are ass. The costumes look completely ass too. The entire production felt like a school play with small children who have no hint of charisma.

And the score is also pretty terrible. Especially the electric guitar that is playing. That is some generic shitty shit!

It’s hard to see what’s going on during the terrible action scenes. We find the only highlight in the first action sequence in the movie, where we see a small dose of creativity when a group attacks the horse of the person they are trying to kill. That’s the only positive thing I have to say about this shitty movie!

I hope the movie doesn’t get a sequel. This is a movie you shouldn’t watch. It looks and feels cheap! It has no soul! A demon from Evil Dead has swallowed its soul! The movie ruined my day. It’s a movie that drains you. It tries to kill your soul! It’s so fucking bad! I need to break someone’s thumb! Stupid thumb! Stupid! You know who I’m talking about! Don’t you, Dan!

Rating: 1/10

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